So much drama.

I didn't need anybody eleven months before, I didn't care if the sky fell down on the earth and resulted in the extinction of the human race. I just didn't give a damn.

Then why am I like this right now? So worried with what the next day might bring, waiting for the axe to fall. Something changed me, someone found my heart and grabbed my attention, grabbed me by the balls, and made me care, not forcefully, though. That person opened up these baggy eyes and made me look at the world in a different light.

Yes, I hated everybody. I was very resentful, I was pessimistic, and I was an asshole all my life; but in just eleven months, I changed. I never thought that I could change, I believed that I was on top of everybody, that I was better than anybody else, foolish pride. She was like a slap in the face.

Now she's out of my life, I don't know what to do anymore. Haven't got a clue. I started building my life around her, and all of a sudden, she pulled out of it. Now, I'm sitting here like a dunce in a corner and thinking of what to do next, but my mind is always drifting off, worrying, wishing.

I found happiness for only a short while, a taste of heaven. But now, I feel as if I don't know what happiness means.

Maybe it's time to let go. Let go of everything and start anew. But I don't want to, I don't fucking want to. I want to fight this, but how can I when I'm so far away. What can mere words do? Ah, fuck this, I so fucking love you.

So much drama.